Few things can ruin a party more quickly than botched seating. Whether it’s two-top awkwardness toward your third wheel, the inexplicable arrangement that places the waitress you met at that convention between you and your ex-wife, or the fact the hemorrhoids just don’t mesh with stainless steel, the […]
With only a few days left in 2016—and this being the last Pigskin Piñata of the NFL season—it’s a good time to talk about Roger Federer. Yeah, the tennis guy. This one: And while it may seem like a record-scratching moment in your daily routine of consuming all-things football—and […]
Yes, sports fans, it’s here! For the first time since 2011—which was the end of the Reebok Era, if you remember—Christmas is the NFL. The NFL is Christmas. Finkle is Einhorn. And so on… Ho! Ho! Oh, hell yes! Yep, you read that correctly. And, whether you’re into […]
Mick Jagger fathering a child at 73 years old just highlights how difficult it is to be a running back in the NFL. While the iconic front man is marveled at for his gusto and prowess of loins—erasing any common stereotypes about older age and virility and drinking […]
Mars Blackmon, Andy Dufresne, Cousin Eddie, the original mouse whisperer herself, Cinderella, and even Run DMC—in their own special way. All of them legends, all of them key pieces that taught us what the NFL is just now understanding: it’s all about the shoes. Oh yeah, shoes. The […]
Over the years, the number 13 has taken a bad wrap. Whether it’s a step on a ladder, a floor in an office building, or the number of minutes the electric slide was consecutively performed at a wedding…all are looked at with the same wary eye, the same […]
Welcome to the party, gang. Are you ready for some football? I said…ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!? (I’m shouting, because it’s not even noon and you’re already sleeping. That damn tryptophan (checks spelling)…it never fails!) Yes, few things highlight Thanksgiving awesomeness better than football and the NFL. First […]
Old Melvis Hassle was the youngest of his crowd, oddly enough, sort of the case study for a group of men who spent most mornings, afternoons, evenings—you name it—down by the river’s mouth, where the shallow creek turned from underneath the bridge. Everyone of them hated something more […]
According to the mythical faction in charge of such matters, Week 10 in the NFL was the greatest week for football-related excitement since the S.I. Shoe Phone, the introduction of NFL Red Zone—for the A.D.D. impatience in all of us—and yes, since beer was placed in a helmet […]
We roll into Week 10 of the NFL with a rather large, purple elephant in the room. See him? Yep. I see him, too. That purple elephant in the corner, near the old Piñatas, the one banging on the snare drum and smashing those mini symbols attached to […]
