While the sports world digests all the chips, dips and pigskin punch – fizzed for your pleasure – all the experts have dissected and re-dissected what is the new pastime of ‘Merica….The NFL.  The season is young, bright and full of questions; Who is the best? Is it over after just one game? Does a horse have socks, it has shoes? How old is Faith Hill at this point? Did my fantasy team keep me out of reality and into points-stardom?

Truthfully, no one really knows what the season will bring. Many will act like they are in the know, and chief of all water cooler discussions, but it’s never easy to predict something as unpredictable as the NFL. And Fatih Hill is 44. Alright Monday night, where are you….so on and so forth. The Couch Journalist is right where he out to be, the couch. So, let’s dig through the scribbled garbage and make sense of what has been another week in the athletic-bound and beer-savy.

These are the notes from the can…. NFL Edition.

Steelers and Broncos

The biggest question of the entire off-season was answered last night. Yes, Hines Ward was a great dancer, but he won’t be missed by the Steelers. Done and done. The game between these two teams went as expected – and almost predicted by your’s truly, honestly. Peyton shouted and pointed at things, then completed passes. Big Ben ran around like a sack-proof giant and completed passes in scenarios when most Q.B.’s would have been smooshed into the ground like an old banana. It was a great game. However, one, major aspect stood out the most and was worthy of ink and remembering – Third-down conversions not only benefited one team, it benefited both.

It just didn’t seem like the Steelers converted every third down – regardless of the yards needed – they did convert. The Broncos defense did nothing to stop the passing game of the Steelers in situations that clearly called for a pass. Yes, the Broncos won the game, but continuing on this lack-of-defense and keeping the D on the fiield, extensively, is not going to be a success moving forward. However, in a blind-luck kind of deal, it did help Peyton rest easily in his first game back – perhaps allowing him to acclimate better to the mile-high conditions – and take more time to study the offensive progression. But Denver should not make this a trend. If the Steelers could have mixed in a more solid running attack – something they have abandoned recently – my prediction would not have made the above paragraph.

Those Yute’s in the NFL

Much like an Oil Tycoon’s fifth wife, the NFL likes em’ young. Five Q.B’s started games as Rookies on Sunday, leaving every analyst to pick, prod and poke at their performances, respectively. Luck, Bobby G. III, Weeden, Tannehill and Wilson took the reigns of their football teams in hopes of becoming the next Dalton or Newton – not the fig – and news burp, none will have success this year, regardless what happened in game-one.

The great thing about the schedule-makers in the NFL is that they knew to make the season longer than one game. Instead they opted to make it 16. So hit the brakes on deciding who is the best, who will help, who is in trouble, who has the hot girl – That’s Tannehill – because none of it matters, yet. Unless you are involved in the last part.

A Q.B. has such a huge progression from draft day to the end of season that is never an exactly when looking at their performances. Usually, the best, new Q.B. is on the worst teams. Like Andrew Luck learned, you can’t win it all by yourself, it takes 10 other guys on offense. Yes, Bobby G. looked spectacular, while Weeden, Tannehill and Wilson were worst to alright, but again, no one wins “Rookie of the Year,” after 60 snaps. Let’s wait until at least the eighth game before we start handing out the punch.

Pay the Bills

Continuing to beat the horse of too much too soon, Ryan Fitzpatrick is a perfect example of why not to jump the gun. After going 5-2 at the beginning of last year, the Bills gave the Harvard-boy a boat-load of cash, expecting great things. How is that going now? Like a remote control with only one battery, it will never work. Eventually someone is going to have to get up and change the channel, then get new batteries.

Tebow, Sanchez and Ryan should not be celebrating their points-picnic from Sunday. The Bills are no bueno. The Jets next game is against the Steelers, and they will not lay down so easy, or play only one defensive scheme the entire game. Tebow fans hang on, give it 6 games before he gets a start…then gets benched again.

San Fran Moss is not bad

Marshall University wizard – of all things me and crazy – Randy Moss, has found a home in the comforts of San Fran. He is still a really tall guy that has the ability to catch a football, when he is open or not coming across the middle, and his addition clearly will help the team until he goes bonkers when he doesn’t get the pigskin. At the very least, Moss will take away defenders and make space for Manningham and Davis to do their thing.

The defense of the 49ers looked impressive , keeping a talented Q.B. like Rodgers off the game-plan.They accomplished a tough task, and now stand as the team coming out of the N.F.C. With the new offense rolling, and not pressured to score 40 points every game, the 49ers may just get another shot in the Division Championship.

Schwartz v. Harbaugh

The rematch against the Lions and 49ers will be on NBC next Sunday, and I’m not talking about the teams. Don’t think for one second that Bob Costas and company won’t make a spectacle out of the handshake – and following shoving match that occurred between the coaches last season. It is a reporters dream, and like most Harbaugh games, will be right in his wheelhouse – bringing the spotlight on himself and not the team.

Best case scenario, Schwartz greets him at the start of the game, then knocks him out. Then, the coin toss, and your regularly scheduled programming – football.

Dissection complete. Congrats to Andy Murray on winning his first grand slam – the U.S Open. You make it look like you had 65 colonoscopies when you play, but you do it well.

Be sure to follow me on twitter@ couchjournalist.

The Couch Journalist.